Embarking into unknown territory…..Motherhood.
I am by no means an expert on this topic. But I am a Mother, who struggled through the first 6-12 months, well let’s be really honest and just say that I still struggle some days. I am most definitely real and unfiltered in my speech and tell it like it is. These are some tips from someone who has been there, so if you need a little guidance on embarking into the unknown territory of Motherhood, read on.
- Throw away your ‘should’ list.
As a new Mum I felt as though I should keep my home clean and tidy constantly. I should do everything naturally and by the ‘Earth Mother’ handbook, but I also should get into a routine so my baby would sleep through the night AS SOON AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE! I should exercise to get my pre baby body back. I should eat right because whatever I was eating was going through my breast milk to baby, on that note I most definitely should breast feed (which didn’t work out so well for me). I could go on, and on and on. Get rid of all your preconceived ideas of what type of a Mum you think you ‘should’ be, and just get through it one day at a time, to the best of your ability.
2. Throw away the books/friendly advice.
Your baby is a human being, whatever the books may say they will not easily slip into a routine that some nanny in America created. You are a Mother and it is not easy hearing your baby cry, the nanny doesn’t give a shit. While I considered myself an alternative/natural parent, I am a creature of routine and needed my child to be one also. This helped immensely in some ways, but the day I threw away my ‘contented little baby’/’save our sleep’ books was the day I could relax and listen to what my daughter needed. Creating a routine from early on was great as I had a child that slept through, but maybe she would’ve anyway, maybe it is just a luck of the draw? There were always days when she was a bit ‘off’ and everything would turn to shit, when I had the books I would get anxious that she wasn’t sleeping/feeding/playing when she was meant to, when I didn’t have the books I just lived in that moment. Your baby is an individual, they will live like one. So next time some helpful friend/colleague/stranger gives you advice, just smile and nod.
3. Start fresh every day.
As said above, some days will go to shit. So what? These days will become less and less frequent the older your bub gets, so just throw in the towel, baby wins this round, get back into/stay in your pyjama’s and chill out. Tomorrow is a new day when you can start fresh and aim to get baby to sleep when they are meant to sleep, feed well and cry little. It’s the same with toddlers/kids, they have days when they are little rats but that doesn’t make them bad children, they are just having an off day and it passes.
4. Get out as often as you can.
While getting out of the house with baby in tow can be an absolute mission, it is so worth it to get into the land of the living. I was lucky enough to have the beach at my doorstep so I wouldn’t even dress Lotus, I’d just pop her into her stroller and walk. Getting outdoors did wonders for my mental health, and if I achieved nothing more that day I could be happy knowing I had seen the ocean. It also helped me immensely getting around other Mothers. I never saw myself as a ‘playgroup Mum’, I tend to be more introverted and am happy being left on my own, however connecting with Women in the same stages of Mothering was a godsend as we talked all things baby and it always made me realise I wasn’t alone.
5. Take time for yourself.
Even if it’s just 5 minutes in the shower, embrace a little time for yourself, wherever you can get it, and breathe. I will now put on my boasting boots and say that I have an amazing husband who was willing to do absolutely anything asked of him to help me out. He would do the bath of an evening so I could sit, often just staring off into the void, breathing and enjoying some space. Because this is something I truly struggled with, the lack of personal space once you become a Mother. After 4 weeks of being attached to Lotus I went off and did a Yoga class, then I started making time to practice Yoga every day, again even if it was only 5 minutes. This became my time to be myself and do what I loved to do. It doesn’t need to be Yoga. It may be reading a trashy magazine, but you need to hold on to YOU, and you need to take time to do it daily.
I would love to go on, but then I run the risk of preaching and by no means do I want to do that. Us Mum’s cop it from every angle, from our families and friends who mean well, from strangers who should just mind their own business, and most of all from ourselves. This list is about reclaiming your inner voice, your inner strength, your inner Self and allowing her to shine through so you may be lead from even the toughest, darkest, days into the Divine light that is being a Mother.
One Comment
Loved reading this thankyou xx 😝