Having been home for 3 weeks now I was still waiting for my drive to kick back in…still waiting…and then I realised something over the weekend. I’m quite happy for my obsessional need to control everything to take a step back for a few more weeks.

This is my little secret, one that most people close to me already know, however one that I try to hide as it goes against the image I aim to convey of being a chilled out ‘hippy’ type. I am extremely driven and goal focused. I always have been. I need to have something to be looking forward to, something that gives me a sense of purpose, and always a holiday in the near future to get excited about. Since my little girl has been going to school I have honed in on building my knowledge around running a business, something I’ve never been overly concerned or interested in. In the past I have simply done what I love to do, and thought that was enough. It’s only in the past 10 months that I have discovered the art of branding, marketing and running a small business. I am extremely thankful to the incredible women who have helped me along this path, the education I have received has been so crucial to my future. But for the next few weeks/month I have decided to just chill the F out. No plans. No needing to control every small detail around my business, my health, my family. Just take some time to sit back and mellow, and see where the universe guides me.

I set some pretty hefty goals while away, so many things that I want to do and achieve, the life I want to lead. But since being home I’ve just been focused on getting through each day as calmly and with as little stress as possible, and it’s working out so far. When I first got back I was plagued by the most intense, heart racing anxiety. Living in this state forces you to just focus on the moment, on breathing in the moment, and waiting for each surge to pass. Since giving myself permission to simply sit back and relax the anxiety has abated and I’m feeling content. This makes me think about all the women out there who pile the pressure on and constantly live in a state of ‘fight or flight’ never allowing themselves to sit still for fear that there is too much to do. Yes there is a lot to do, but how much of it is life or death type of stuff? Don’t get me wrong I’m still doing everything that needs to be done, my home is tidy, my Yoga practice is consistent and my family are taken care of. But all the extra thinking, all the things I feel I should be doing (like blogging, hence there have been none for the past 3 weeks!) and all the plans I am usually continuously making, all that stuff has been gently placed to the side so I can take a few deep breaths before sorting through it with a clear head.

So my message to all you powerful, intelligent and driven women out there. Sit down, put your feet up and just chill the F out. Even just for half and hour. I promise you the world will not end if you drop your load for a little while, but the magic of the universe will support you and take you to where you need to be.