Keeping up with the ‘Jones’s’
So much of life could be spent trying to keep up with those around us, but really, what a crap way to live? It all begin’s when we start school. Already my daughter has told me about girls in her class telling her that they don’t ‘poo or fart’ ?! So this sets a standard in her mind that she can’t compete with, she knows there is no way on earth she can stop pooing?! But of course I know better and tell her that things are not always as they seem, and just because someone tells you they are something, most definitely does not make it true. This continues on through life, until we have our own children and then begin to compare ourselves to other Mothers, we look around thinking that our friends have more than us, more money, more time, better relationships…etc etc etc But really it’s all bullshit, because nothing is as it seems.
For a long time my husband and I have had a common goal, being that we want to spend as much time as possible together with each other and our little girl, and that everything else comes second to this. We have both sacrificed money, jobs, time with friends and opportunities to pay off our mortgage to continue on this path we set out on, the path of living each day as a strong family unit moving forward together. He is probably even better at remembering this goal and reminding me of it than I am, as I find myself regularly looking around and comparing myself to others. When I see another Yoga studio open up near me I have a moment of ‘I wish that was me’ and go running to my hubby to complain that ‘I want that!’ and he will calmly remind me that ‘no, you don’t want that’ and I am put back in my place of comfort and contentment. It is also with this goal in mind that we set out each year to spend a month together, away from life, rather than paying a large chunk off our house.
Life is meant to be lived right now, of course we need to set ourselves up and plan for the future, however if we were to sacrifice this moment for it then where would we be? Would we be 100% happy with each day as it is lived, and able to wake every morning feeling happiness, contentment and equanimity? We all know that there are no guarantees in life, it is entirely possible that we could be run over by a truck, eaten by a shark or struck down with a terminal illness tomorrow (morbid I know, but stay with me!) and we cannot take our money with us, we cannot pack up our houses and cash them in for memories, but memories will be all we can go back to and our legacy will be the lives we have touched. It is for this reason that I choose to no longer compare, no more will I wish I am anything other than what I am, and I will stop looking at others and assessing because, as I told Lotus, things are not always as they seem. Just because someone has a better house/body/job than you does not make them happier. It always amazes me how happy most Balinese people are, they have nothing yet they are together with their families day after day working very simple jobs, earning a meagre living and leading uncomplicated lives, a recipe for happiness?
Alicia xxx
One Comment
Well said Alicia. I can totally relate to this article x