What is it with that saying anyway? The definition of Mum, as found in the Oxford Dictionary = Remain silent, especially so as not to reveal a secret: non verbalising. ‘Mum’s the word’ is used in relation to saying nothing about the secret you know. Isn’t it the truth that so many new Mum’s do hold back on what they are experiencing, as if it’s a big secret that caring for a new born is hard work?

After talking to a very beautiful friend of mine who had a tough time as a first time Mother, I decided to be completely real about this whole Motherhood thing, so here it is. But before I get into the nitty gritty here is a warning to pregnant ladies, if you don’t want to know what you are in for then stop reading now! I didn’t want to hear any of this stuff when I was expecting, I was convinced I was going to be a natural earth mother with the perfect baby, so I do not blame you for looking the other way, and perhaps coming back once you’ve had bubba for a reminder that you are not alone.

As a new Mum you are often asked ‘how is it all going’ to which the expected reply is ‘It’s wonderful, I’m so incredibly in love with my angel child and I can’t imagine a life without her/him’, or something along those lines. When I was asked I would always respond simply and honestly ‘This is bloody hard work.’ Because let’s be honest Mamas, it is damn hard. I just didn’t find much pleasure in those first 6-12 weeks between the crying, feeding, sleeplessness and being responsible for a human being who I didn’t even know. And this was the main issue, I just didn’t know my child yet. I can now can look back with fondness and see her personality shining through in those newborn shots, because I now know exactly who my child is, I know what she was thinking in those moments and what she was trying to tell me through her cries and babbling. Of course I had times of absolute love for my baby, but they were fleeting. I just wanted to sit with my husband for a while and chat without wondering when she was going to wake up and start demanding for, well God knows what?! I just wanted to go for a run at sunset like I used to, rather than being chained to the couch in an endless stream of feeding and rocking. I couldn’t believe how much work one teeny tiny baby could create. How do people have more than one?! The washing, the nappy changes, the feeding, the burping, the tummy time, let alone trying to look after myself, my husband and a home. Forget about not getting out of your PJ’s, there were days when I barely made it out of bed.

Now I will put it out there and say that my whole experience was amplified as I suffered from Post natal depression, however anyone who says this whole parenting thing is a breeze…well they are either lying or they are from a different planet to me!

Of course time heals all, our babies grow up, and the moments of joy become longer and more often as the moments of despair start to fade and become the ones that are now ever so fleeting. As you become a Mother to a toddler there are a whole new bunch of difficulties that creep in, like thinking you need to be the best Mummy ever and read to them, play with them, get them out experiencing the best of life and creating super exciting craft projects for them to do, for 2 minutes. But when you have a toddler they are so much more fun. They give you this incredibly humbling unconditional love that makes your heart explode with joy and you think to yourself ‘this was never hard, this is amazing, let’s have another one!’ I of course have never gone back for that second one. Not just because I found the start so daunting, but for many reasons i won’t go into for the purpose of this post.

In my next post I’ll give you my tips that I used to get through the days, what to do and what not to do, but until then just give your buba a hug and make yourself a cup of tea. As a good friend once said to me in regards to getting through those first few months, ‘We don’t have a choice, it’s sink or swim.’ You’ll survive, because you have to, but also because trust me you want to, it only gets better and more beautiful from here on in.