S.O.S – Survivors of Suicide, is this even a thing? Those of us left behind after such a tragedy can only be called survivors, as we have had no other choice than to carry on and hold the memory of our lost loved one close.

Moving away from Fathers Day last week, my first one without my own Father here, through ‘RU OK’ day yesterday towards ‘World Suicide Prevention Day’ tomorrow, I have Dad on my mind minute by minute, sometimes as a calm presence walking beside me, occasionally as a shocking memory of how he left this planet. I ask myself – can suicide even be prevented? Quite honestly after months and months of pondering whether or not I could have prevented my own Fathers suicide, I feel the answer is no. Although never Black and White, when someone is in this my pain, suffering and anguish I feel it is selfish to prevent them from leaving this life and going to a place more peaceful, where they can be taught what they need to face the next life with a little more power and peace.

I feel the need to break some stereotypes of those who die by suicide. They are not miserable, dark people. They are not isolated, lonely or unloved. Of course there will be instances where perhaps they are these things, but from my experience in both my own Dad, as well as friends who have died in this manner, these beautiful people are loved, cared for and regarded as a precious part of their community. Dad was so much more than just a Father to me, this may sound cliche but I don’t care because it’s the absolute truth. He was my mate. He was my confidant, I knew I could tell him absolutely anything and he would never judge my crazy mind as he knew exactly where these thoughts were coming from. We were the same. He cared for my daughter in a way that no one on this entire earth will ever be able to do again, they had they own language. Of course there were many times when he drove me insane, with his quirks and anxieties, he could make you laugh, yell and cry all in the same moment. He loved my dog even more than I do. He was one person who I knew I could always call, day or night, and he would come to my side. He did come to my side when I was suffering terribly from post natal depression, he was there every morning to sit with me. I could go on, but the rest I hold dear to my heart and have been trying to record in a diary so I don’t let the memories slip away as I know mine often do.

On Saturday September 10th, ‘World Suicide Prevention Day’, I ask you not to post up on Facebook ‘RU OK’, because the people who are really not OK will never respond. I ask you instead to look around at all the people left behind from loved ones who have been too fragile for this life and have left by their own means, to see these people as just like you, another human being who has experienced the suffering of life. Change your view on the way you see suicide. It is not selfish. My Father was the most selfless man I knew, he left because he didn’t want to burden his family with his pain anymore, he didn’t want to be cared for by us, or by anyone. Suicide is not the easy way out, it is the only way for some. Suicide can not be prevented if that person is meant to go, we all have our time.

Dad xxx